If you could find time for sexual pleasure every day, would you do it?
It is well known, especially for women, that sex is as much about the brain as it is about the body. Taking time, showing up, and staying present can not only prolong pleasure but can lead to orgasm.
Women often find that the big “O” does not come easy. Don’t give up. While it can be elusive, practicing self-pleasure and learning how to climax by yourself is a very good start to finding pleasure with a partner. Learn what turns you on, get things rolling, and practice Self Love.
In her article, Here's What Happens to Your Brain When You Orgasm¹, Sofia Mitrokotas explores the use of MRI scans to learn what occurs in the brain during sexual stimulation and climax. Her research provides insights into the body’s release of hormones such as endorphins, oxytocin, prolactin, and vasopressin suggesting that orgasm triggers all kinds of happy hormones.
It is not just the mood-altering hormones that should keep us coming back for more sex. A 2017 study suggests that both men and women, post-masturbation, benefited from the release of endocannabinoids (2-AG) which play a role in the rewarding consequences and euphoria that comes with sexual arousal and orgasm. Both cannabinoids (cannabis) and endocannabinoids interact with hormones and neurotransmitters that mediate sexual behavior and can lead to the desire for increased sexual activity.
Making sexual gratification a priority requires mindfulness, time management and intention. In my article, Sex + Cannabis: A Path to Cannagamic Pleasure, I add cannabis to the mix and will explore here why a healthy lifestyle of fruits, veggies, nuts, and exercise all contribute nicely to finding your daily “oO’s”.
Build an orgasm into your day, every day. This will help you move those oO’s from routine to ritual. Find time to fantasize throughout the day and use music to get you in the mood. Try leaving sexy hints for your partner(s). Routines are easier to form if you stick with them. Sex should not be forced but should also not be forgotten. There is a happy medium here. Indulge in sexy lingerie, dim the lights and pick music that builds the mood. That also goes for those of you with disco sticks. A revealing robe, sexy speedos or, better yet, cleaning up the dishes in a revealing apron can go a long way.
Let’s face it, if you are focused on daily sex who has the time or energy for fighting? It’s all love baby!
Fruits, Veggies, and Nuts
Eat your fruits, veggies, and nuts! A whole-food, plant-based diet can do wonders for your sex life while keeping you disease free (that does not include STDs). While eliminating processed foods and meats from your diet may be extreme, you can make daily decisions that prioritize foods that keep you feeling healthy and looking good.
Recent studies using PET scans to observe dopamine response suggest that high fat, processed food centric diets are systematically deadening our dopamine response and taking a serious toll on our pleasure centers. This means those elusive orgasms may be a direct result of what you choose to put in your body.
If you want a deeper dive into the world of healthy eating I highly recommend following Dr. Michael Greger's lead. These days between Forks Over Knives and the plethora of plant-based recipes that will chase you on social media there should be no excuses for not eating healthy for better sex. Remembering that everything is better wet, drink plenty of water while doing your best to avoid the white powder drugs such as sugar and excess salt. While not always easy, incorporating these steps into your day can be key to finding your way to a healthy, sex-filled routine.
Cruciferous and green leafy veggies can do wonders for your libido and hormone health. Such foods can help boost testosterone levels by lowering oxidative stress. If root vegetables are not your thing try adding a salad to your meal while exploring some easier choices like honey, bananas, watermelon, and nuts.
Honey contains boron, a mineral that has been linked to boosting testosterone. Honey is also packed with nitric oxide, which plays a major role in opening up blood vessels that help create erections. You can boost your body's nitric oxide levels by 50% with just 4 teaspoons of honey daily.
Bananas contain an enzyme called Bromelain which is known to help boost testosterone levels.
Watermelon can increase blood flow to the penis. Unlike Viagra, it is all-natural, inexpensive and comes with no adverse side effects. While the white rinds and seeds offer the biggest bang for the buck, the juice can be an easy ready-made option. Watermelon is a natural source of Citrulline. Research suggests the body converts Citrulline to L-arginine and then to Nitric Oxide which opens the blood vessels wider thereby increasing blood flow and improving erections.
Nuts, nuts, nuts… pistachios, Brazilian, walnuts, and peanuts are great for boosting libido in women (and men). They contain the amino acid L-arginine which is proven to naturally stimulate your body for sex by boosting nitric oxide levels and blood flow to sex organs.
Finally, try eating only when you’re hungry. Eating is fun and definitely habit-forming. Try snacking on fruits, veggies and nuts. These choices will fill your belly and allow your mind to think about getting laid tonight instead of the leftover pizza in the frig.
It’s all about routine. Find yours, make time, and turn it into a ritual.
Fitness
Like F*cking and fruits, fitness is all about getting into a good, healthy routine. Whether your jam is yoga, Pilates, walking, running, strength training, or a combination thereof, if you get in the habit of exercising every day your body, mind, and soul will thank you for it.
Don’t have time in your busy schedule? Yes, you do! Put it on the calendar, sign up for a group activity, or schedule a walk with a friend. Put your gym clothes on each day as a constant reminder to get moving. Try working activities into your day; stand while you work, take calls on a walk, breathe, and move that booty!
Great sex comes with feeling sexy and wanted. Dress the part, treat yourself, and teach your partner(s) what turns you on. It all starts with good communication. Learn to encourage and reward behaviors that get you in the mood and keep you coming back for more.
My Daily Grind
While having sex daily may not be for everyone, I dig it. As I head fast and furious into menopause, like most women, I find it easiest to cum on my own. Making the time to have regular sex with my partner keeps my libido present and helps evolve communication to a place where it becomes easier and easier to get what I need and want.
If I am really lucky, I love to start the morning with a cuddle-f*ck before hitting the yoga mat to clear my mind and focus on a productive day.
My first food or drink, aside from water, comes after yoga. I am not in the habit of eating until the afternoon and then there is no limit to the grazing on fruits, nuts, veggies, and, of course, coffee.
As I shift my focus from work to pleasure, my
routine usually includes a 10mg THC-rich edible gummy. Adding a little cannabis to the mix up to an hour before “getting it on” can do wonders for keeping your head in the "f*cking” game and will make that post-sex dinner taste amazing.
New to adding cannabis to sex? To find your sweet spot start slow, build gradually and pay attention to what works for you.
Daily sex may mean some days you are “f*cking for fuck sake”, that’s ok. Remember, an orgasm, whether self-love, 69, a good pounding, full-on fantasy play, or a combination thereof releases magical hormones, endorphins, dopamine, and endocannabinoids that are sure to lighten your load and brighten your day.
Want to keep it hot? Start with oral sex and build your way into the full crescendo. If sex with a partner is simply not in the cards for you today don’t forget you always have yourself. Stay in the habit of daily self-love. An orgasm a day can truly keep the doctor away.
While I love a good, long shag before dinner I find there is nothing better than cuddling up on the couch and binging TV. That usually includes some dark chocolate and berries and, depending on libido, mood, movie, and ambiance, there may be time for another bedtime delight before falling into a deep sleep.
In my experience, the key to more and better sex is to be mindful of your routines and turn them to healthy rituals. Start slow and stick with it. Indulging in a daily sex routine can open doors you never knew existed and, if nothing else, will make each new day happy and healthy.
Additional Sources
"Sex, health, and years of sexually active life gained due to good health: evidence from two US population-based cross-sectional surveys of aging." Stacy Tessler Lindau, Natalia Gavrilova. BMJ 2010;340:c810
"AB59. Can sexual health contribute to longevity?" P Ganesan Adaika. NIH: National Library on Medicine. Transl Androl Urol. 2014 Sep; 3(Suppl 1): AB59.
"The Benefits of a Healthy Sex Life", Oregon Health & Science University
"What Happens in Your Brain During Orgasm?" Theodora Blanchfield, AMFT. Very Well Mind
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